Is Wolfram Alpha Gay? Wolfram Fails The Only Test That Matters (To Me)

In my very scientific tests vetting newcomer search engine Wolfram Alpha against stalwart Google, Wolfram Alpha has failed:

Astronomy? Seriously? I know you’re in beta, but is that all you can come up with? Are you confused? Wait, are you…..oh no.

I mean, that’s fine and all. Wolfie, me and you are still cool. Just not that cool. Like, we can still play XBOX. You just can’t stay over anymore now that I know you’re not on my team. Not that I’m against people like you–I’m not. Really.

Long-time Man-staple Google, on the other hand, when searched for “hottest girl earth” comes up with a TON of great entries, including the top entry, a photo spread of Megan Fox (who is pretty much the hottest piece around) from Maxim.

Google 1, Wolfie 0 (or should I start calling you Bruce?) .