Penelope: we’re gonna stroll through Nolita then grab dinner at his favorite place!
so romantic
so cute
i’m gonna die
cameron
i’m not good under dating pressure
Me: you def can’t go in there nervous
Penelope: well at least i’ll be superficially confident
bought a smoking dress
not slutty
it says jackie, not marilyn
& makes him wonder what’s underneath

We Need a Yelp Italy – Yelp

Thanks, Jenny!

I’m seeing this the day it comes out.

Via My Own God.

This shit is so hipster, I ****ing had to post it.

Thanks, Xaphoon Jones!

Via Brittany Bohnet.

Chris Brown, hosting classy dinner party: “Ha ha, smashing, Reginald. I, too, enjoy delicious foie gras. But if it’s not served at the proper temperature, I get so angry I just want to punch an exquisite armoire until it shuts it’s skank mouth and admits my sneakers are fly. YOU FUCKING HEAR ME, ARMOIRE?! MY SNEAKS ARE PIMP AS FUCK. I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

Sherry, anyone?”

Republished from the hilarious folks over at TheSuperficial.com:

Chris Brown hosts dinner parties now – The Superficial

Wow, I didn’t know they made crimson hip-waders.

Thanks, Andy!

Cameron: You’re a Sounders fan?
Mary Kay: YES! HUGE fan!
Cameron: Please tell me you drink copious amounts before/during/after sounders fc matches.
Mary Kay: of course…this is footy we are talking about
Cameron: I like you just *that* much more now.
Mary Kay: what, footy or drinking lots of alcohol
Cameron: Drinking.
I’m a big fan of drinking for a reason–like to celebrate being at a game or a ballet.
I had like, umm, five free beers last night at Key Arena because SeattleU was destroying UCDavis and their sports department was feeling generous.
Had I not had any plans, I wouldn’t have drank a drop.
So I like to have plans. Something to celebrate.
Mary Kay: Go Chieftains! Oops…I mean Redhawks
They’ll always be the Chieftains to me
Cameron: I’m glad you call them by their real name.
Mary Kay: I was a Jammin’ Jesuit
Cameron: hence the affinity to alcohol
Mary Kay: pretty much. we always had Fr. Pat tappin the keg at parties
Cameron: I have Fr. Pat on speed dial

Cameron: ummmm where the hell was amanda during the SU Basketball game last night?
Jennifer: shes in vegas with daniela hawking their mother’s designer pantyhose collection at some convention
Cameron: umm right.
…because that makes so much sense.
Jennifer: seriously.
Cameron: umm where was my invite?
wtf
Jennifer: haha
i dunno
i didnt get invited either

And you thought Taipei 101 was imposing! Just look at what’s on the menu!: