British Superiority, Explained

Katherine: Did your drunk, British alter-ego Mr. Hewitt make an appearance tonight?
Cameron: No, sadly. He usually only appears on Friday and Saturday nights–unless it is Mardi Gras or some other such celebration
Katherine: So President’s Day isn’t an official holiday?
Cameron: No, it’s not a British bank holiday.
Katherine: …it would be odd if the British celebrated President’s day.
Cameron: Yes. But we’ve made some improvements and now celebrate Guy Fawkes Day! Fuck the President, some bloke tried to blow up Parliament! Everybody get wasted!
Katherine: That seems like it’d be a more exciting day of celebration than that of President’s Day.
Cameron: That’s why the English are a century ahead of you barbarians, what with your Super Bowls and your Jersey Shores. I mean, how can a Bowl be ‘super’, anyway?! You just use the blasted thing to store your Weetabix while you eat it, for ****’s sake!
Katherine: It would be interesting to see England’s equivalent to Jersey Shore.
Cameron: They’re called Essex Girls.
Look them up, they’re really quite classy.
They’ve been ****ed more times than they’ve had hot meals. Essex Girls make Jersey Shore castmembers look like Cambridge sophisticates, in comparison. It’s a tragedy, really.
Katherine: Wow. Didn’t know such a task was possible. But no matter what comes out of England they shall always remain great for they gave us the original Office.
Cameron: This is true. Anything the English do is patently superior to what the Yanks have come up with. We did invent James Bond, you know.

Monday, February 15th, 2010 Conversations, Humor   

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