Nice Attempt

Homeless thug: Hey man, how’s abouts you help a brother out, got an extra two dollars so I can buy some food, my man?
Me, feigning foreign-ness: Putain ! Je parle pas anglais ! (I don’t speak any English!)
Homeless thug: Oh, so you French or somethin’?
Me: Pardon monsieur, j’ai déjà dit que je parle seulement français !
Homeless thug, angling for some word a Frenchman might recognize: Hey uhh…Mussolini?

Jake One – Home

Shot in Seattle, including on Broadway (Dick’s Hamburgers), The Central District, et cetera.

‘The Hills’ is the new stand-by for witty culture-observers.

Also, earlier today I came upon this choice quote:

“We’re perfect for each other…I read Kant while you watch The Hills.”

-Katherine Pepka

“The Hills has taught me so many valuable lessons about love. Relationships aren’t about day-to-day life, but rather BIG moments like engagements, weddings, break ups, and dramatic club standoffs. It’s not really love if there’s not a climax to every 30 minutes of programming.”

-Jezebel commenter

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Heads Will Roll

Pretty crazy hipster/vampire rock track. The first 1:30 sucks, but after that, the track’s guitars really shine. Video is awesome, complete with Michael Jackson-dancing, flesh-eating werewolf.

Via Wine and Bowties.

Stunning.

Scott Schuman captures phenomenal moments:

Just Off Vittorio St., Sao Paulo.

Via TheSartorialist.

Memorial Day

On the holiday formerly known as Decoration Day, we remember men and women who have died in military service.

Roosevelt’s Great White Fleet anchored in Elliot Bay at night, May 1908. Spotlights are beaming off the fleet’s ships (click to enlarge):

Via Vintage Seattle.

Pretty Standard

GentlmanWanderer: Yo
BusinessPartner: What up
GentlmanWanderer: Dude this past weekend. Shameful. I’m still wearing my hospital bracelet…

Read on at TheFoggyMonocle.

I’ve been so busy, I don’t even have enough time to read my favorite blog (TheFoggyMonocle). Just enough time to skim the first three lines. Luckily, most of them are still hilarious.

Don’t Stop Believin’ – Glee

People on the net have been making tons of noise over this. Apparently, they’ll have to wait until the fall for the show to actually debut. Smart Marketing.

Normally, this genre (acapella/glee) makes me want to cut myself. I would, if it wasn’t for the lead female vocalist being so hot, and the original song being so awesome.

Via Joe Sunga.

theNapkinHolder – Daft Punk Piano Medley

Via Kanye West.

A Music Degree

Via GraphJam.

Clear Communication

Got this email from Keeley:

Yes I do; sure she has; thanks; perhaps I will; and yes she is.

Gosh, I love Metro.

Only a seasoned Communications professional could craft a message so eloquent.

Democrats, Republicans. Who is lost?

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

“She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be an Obama Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going.. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

Via Calling John Galt.

Ahh, The Smell of Fresh Subsidy in the Morning

Hello. Welcome to Washington State. Do you print outdated news on dead trees while fleecing the advertising industry? If you answered “Yes”, we’ll give you a 40% tax break. That’s now the law in Washington.

In the last 3 years, US ad spending shrank from $230 billion to $222 billion. The two most volatile categories was the Internet and newspapers. (Everyone else pretty much stayed the same.) Internet ad revenues grew from $17B to $26B, while newspaper ad revenues shrank from $47B to $34B. In essence, the Internet started eating newspapers’ lunch in the order of $9 billion. Make no mistake. This is an epic battle to the bankruptcy filing.

Read more at BenHuh.com –>

Beer’s Effect On The Brain

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo in the herd. When the herd is hunted, the slowest and weakest (at the back) are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

Excessive intake of alcohol kills braincells. Naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest braincells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Thanks, Mom

Rick Ross – Cigar Music

Love the strings. The track is a little too thug for my taste, but Rick Ross (The Boss) managed to pull it off.

Via Kanye West.